SELF CARE (YOU GOTTA TREAT YO SELF)

Well hello there.

It's hard being a young'un innit. It's hard being any age, but I think millennials are getting some serious stick at the moment.


I mean what with the mounting student debt we face; pain-in-the-butt student landlords; paying rent; trying to get work without lifelong experience, and not getting the job that will give you experience; being expected to work for free when you have bills to pay/mouths to feed; slim chance of getting on that property ladder... the list is goddamn endless. But I'm not here to bog you down with all of that.

Recent studies have shown that 1 in 6 young people will experience an anxiety condition at some point in their lives. And most of the people I know, including myself, have been there at some point, struggling to manage anxiety when pressures are rising and things become a bit too much to take.

And in this case, I can't stress enough the importance of self-care. When life is giving you lemons, treat yourself and make that lemonade. Enjoy it. Sometimes it is easy to overthink the importance and worth of everyday problems and forget that you are important. The only way you can ever get through anything is by looking after number one. I'm not saying relinquish all of your problems and never face them, but I am saying if you do so for just half an hour in the evening when you have a moment to yourself, that is more than ok.

My handy self-care tips are inexpensive, time-efficient, yet rather effective I'd say. I'm not a self-help guru and I can hardly say I have it all together, but I find these little tips and tricks really do help.

1) PAMPER (obviously):

Now, I am yet to meet ONE person on this earth who doesn't enjoy a pamper every now and again.  It's the perfect self-indulgence when life is making you feel haggard and strained. It's especially easy to forget to take care of yourself when times are tough, which is why it's even more important to take that time and look after you. The great thing about a pamper is that it can take as little or as much time as you need to feel good.

I know not everyone is a bath person, but baths can be soooo relaxing. Immersing yourself into a hot bath for 15-20 minutes can improve circulation; get you ready for a great sleep by relaxing tense muscles; lower blood pressure and relieve headaches. You know baths are good.

If I only have 10 minutes before bed, I love whacking on a face mask. LUSH have some great masks, but if you fancy just a quick, cheap fix, the Montagne Jeunesse masks are only a quid from Wilkos and Superdrug and they always do the trick. Especially the peel off masks. Nothing is more satisfying than a peel off mask.

2) EXERCISE:

Rope in a mate to join you!! 

I'm probably the last person you would think of to endorse exercise. I am a big gal, and I used to see exercise as more of a chore than a help because it bloody hurt. That's when I realised that I probably wasn't doing it right and it's not an excuse not to do it. So since moving to a new town, I picked back up on the whole fitness thing and joined a PureGym. Membership is £15.99 a month, so it doesn't break the bank! I've been going every other day for about an hour, and although it was a struggle at first I'm really getting into it and enjoying it.

Making time for exercise is not only great for the body, but it gives an otherwise irregular lifestyle a bit of routine. This, more than endorphins and feeling good for doing good, gives me great peace of mind. I also love the way exercise is physically tiring, so whatever stress is keeping you up at night is combatted by your body's need to sleep. And what a great sleep it is.

And the thing is, you don't need a gym membership to get out there! A brisk walk around a park, or around the block or a cringey workout DVD is just as good as anything. And the apps! There are so many apps, like the Couch25K app, 7-minute workout apps and the Nike running app are all good for giving you a guide to help you keep track and encourage you to keep going.

New diary and notebooks, Wilkos have
a great new range.

3) ORGANISE:

Nothing stresses me out more than not knowing what I need to do/pay/organise and when. I find the lack of organisation in one's life is paramount to anxious feelings and unnecessary worry. I think organisation is key to keeping a calmer mind, and there are many ways and means of easily keeping on top of things.

If you are like me and LOVE to write things down, treat yourself to a notebook and/or organiser. I am  not great at keeping dates and memos on my phone because I usually forget that I've put them on there, because let's face it, I'm always on my phone. But I will remember things if I have written them down. I keep all notes, dates and lists written in a small notebook and a separate diary. But if using the calendar and memo apps on your phone or laptop are what help to keep you sane, stick with it! You do you.

I would also like to take a moment and talk about keeping your financial outgoings in check. I like to write a list of all of the major outgoings that need to be paid each month and when. I also check my account and get rid of any small payments that I make for things I don't need. You'd be surprised at how much money you save by cancelling services you haven't used in months. I'm looking at you, Netflix.

4) DE-CLUTTER:

And I mean in all aspects of life. From cleaning out the crap in your handbag to sorting out your friend list on Facebook. Honestly, a good de-clutter is like therapy! Getting rid of unnecessary things (or people - sorry to be blunt) that often cause you stress but you don't deem stressful enough to tackle is a great way to give you a focus on more important things (you). Little things build up over time, and before you know it, you feel swallowed whole by the massive pile of little things. Surprisingly, these small problems are often the tipping point that leave you feeling at your worst.

De-clutter now, thank me later.

5) BREATHE:

So, obviously breathing is absolutely necessary to you LIVING let alone get a handle on your problems. But when you feel overwhelmed, in the moment, getting a bit caught up in something, it's actually easier than you think to forget to breathe. If you're at work, and you've had a particularly tough and confrontational situation to deal with, I advise you to leave the room and breathe. Deep breaths. Take a break, grab yourself some water and just concentrate on your breathing - nothing else.

I use this technique sometimes when I have a spare ten minutes at home. It falls under the category of meditation, but you don't have to say anything weird or fold yourself into an awkward sitting position. Just sit somewhere comfortable with your back straight, hands resting on your knees, and concentrate ONLY on breathing in and breathing out for 10 minutes. This is quite difficult at the start, but once you get the hang of it, you'd be surprised at what this can do for you. A bit of mindfulness goes a long, long way.

6) GET OUT THERE:

This one's for the jobseekers; the freelancers; the students - basically the peeps that spend a lot more time at home than others. It is easy, OH SO EASY, to sit in your PJs, get distracted, get yourself in a bit of a state and over-think everything, because you're probably on your own, in your own company for long periods of time. We all laugh about it, but cramming yourself in one place with your own thoughts can be quite distracting in itself and you become less focused at the task in hand (that job application, pitch or assignment due tomorrow). GET SOME CLOTHES ON AND LEAVE THE HOUSE.

I find this a MASSIVE help. I take my laptop with me, and I sit in a cafe with free wifi, order a tea and get going. It is absolutely astonishing how much more productive you are when you make that first little step. The most productive days are usually the days when you really don't want to leave the house too.

7) TREAT YO SELF:

Dress in the ASOS sale - ended up
being my graduation dress!

Now I've listened to the experts that have said going out and buying things when you're down is only going to stress you out later. And I can see their point, but I don't believe them. OBVIOUSLY you need to be careful with spending, you can't just go out and spend willy-nilly, we as young people understand what that money can do for us (pay rent/bills etc) but that doesn't mean you're not entitled to a little treat every now and again. It doesn't make you a bad person!

So you've been trawling through the sales and see a top you like? Get it. It wasn't full price, so no need to feel bad! And do you feel a bit better for buying it? Of course you do! Do you feel guilty? Probably, but hey you deserve a goddamn treat once in a while. Jeez, mom.


8) LISTEN:

Telly can make me feel like a bit of a potato sometimes.  To be honest the Loose Women panel really do not engage my brain cells. When it's constantly on in the background I just feel out of it, like I don't know where my attention is meant to be focused. I'm a bit simple in that respect. Don't get me wrong you NEED to make time for the necessary viewing (Eastenders, Simply Nigella, Gogglebox, First Dates...) but I find myself more productive and more engaged when I'm listening to something.

Funniest. Podcast. Ever.

I like listening to tunes or specialist programmes on the radio (Like John Kennedy's X-Posure on Radio X) and I've JUST got into the weird and wonderful world of podcasts. I LOVED Serial, I was so hooked. At the moment I'm listening to Adam Buxton's podcast, where he interviews people (usually ones I like, like Rob Brydon, Jon Ronson, Rob Delaney) and just records their chat. It's really interesting and funny too. I also ABSOLUTELY LOVE the My Dad Wrote A Porno podcast with Jamie Morton, Alice Levine and James Cooper. It has me in absolute hysterics - eye-watering belly laughs, and they always say laughter is the best medicine.



9) HAVE A DAY OFF:

...From social media. I love Twitter, Insta, Facebook, Pinterest (absolute fave), just as much as the rest of you. It gets to the point where I feel I could be a little bit addicted to it. It's the first thing I look at when I wake up and the last thing I look at before I sleep.

And as happy as I am for everyone having a smashing time and living it up, when I'm feeling a bit wobbly it becomes a bit of a negative factor. I end up comparing myself to others, feeling down in the dumps about the fact they're all having a better time than me. But it's SOCIAL MEDIA. No-one will post about their every day routine, or what they look like when they're at their worst. Why would they? When I'm down, I forget that posts are often the highlights of a persons day, not their everyday.

As I say, I love social media, but it can sometimes make you feel down and in this case I say it's ok to take a day off. If anything, you become a bit more at one with yourself, and do things you've been meaning to do uninterrupted. And you don't get thumb cramp from scrolling – that can only be a good thing!

10) TALK:

Lastly, if you really feel the pressure mounting and you are struggling to cope, it's always good to talk about it. Confide in your partner, best friend, family, (me!), or see your GP who can advise you on ways to help you. Their perspective could be the thing that gets you on the right track in dealing with possible anxiety or depression. It's daunting, it's difficult but it's well worth a go. It could well be the first day of the rest of your life.


Now I guess it's time to take my own advice. As I say I'm not over anxiety, far from it. But there are little things you can do to make life a little easier and these are just some of the things that help me, maybe they'll help you too? If you have any handy tips PLEASE SHARE in the comments! I'd love to hear some more alternatives.

Take care,

Ashley Rose x