See what we may be able to take from my blog activity since I started up here a year ago, is that things get in the way. These things all add up into one big thing called life. What you have to remember is that life shouldn't get in the way of your happiness. Sure, things are important. Sure, things have a huge impact on your perception and make you feel a million times more responsible than you ever thought you'd be, but this is a good thing! My problem is that I don't know how to balance the important things with happiness, and then I realised that my happiness is important. I'm being silly to think that what I want isn't as important as what others want from me. There has to be balance and equilibrium.
Over the past couple of months I felt as though my new way of living was sucking the life out of me like some giant leech that wouldn't quit. Things with my new house, landlords, university assignments; other people's expectations of me; not fulfilling their expectations; expectations of myself to be better than I could possibly be... It gets to the point where you are just desperate for a break and for things to change, but they won't change until you make them. Since I've realised this, I think I've grown up and learned how to deal with things a bit better, speak up, seek help, tell people how I feel and you know what? It's working wonders.
I hate that my complacency and ways of dealing with things over the past couple of months have impacted my own projects and other people's! But at the end of the day you can only do so much before you reach breaking point. And that's when you need to surge through the wall of self-loathing and demotivation and do something about it. That's when you turn to others for help. People that are there to support you and help you – use them! You don't have to deal with it on your own. You can't deal with it on your own.
So I guess the main aim of this post is not to make up excuses for my recent activity (or lack of, more to the point), but to encourage others to lift themselves out of the dredge. Problems are like quick sand, one foot in and before you know it you're up to your neck in it, waiting to be swallowed whole. Well that doesn't have to be you. There are people that can give you a hand and lift you out of the mess. Friends, family, tutors, teachers, doctors... the list goes on. You'll be ok. Whatever happens, you'll never be alone in anything. You just have to muster up the strength to make the first move and believe in yourself. In the words of Heather Small, "You've got to search for the hero inside yourself..." ;D
I couldn't possibly say that everything is OK and I don't still have problems, but I think I'm more chilled about them? And I am making time for my happiness!
So yeah, that's it really.
In other news, I'm really excited about Christmas. Like, REALLY EXCITED.
I also entered a fun little competition to win a new camera, printer and cash. Hosted by XFM and Canon, the idea was to recreate an album cover... Now please excuse my diva pose.
And I will write a blog post to follow on from this about my newfound love for The Body Shop.
Anyway, enough of this chatter!
Take care,
No comments:
Post a Comment